Articles

Innocent Bystander Late at Night
Adeliene Cromwell

As a first year at HOL, I fell into the trap of believing that Prefects are perfect, intelligent, and sane people. After several innocent nights of insomnia, I have come to the conclusion that Prefects are...well...nuts! Now, don’t get me wrong, Prefects are amazing people and have near endless patience. They have to deal with silly newbies (who we all love, deep down, don't we?), and lots of other stuff that we'd all rather ignore. But what is it really like behind the scenes?

(Quick disclaimer: Since I am not a prefect, nor anywhere near being one, I do not presume to know everything about the insanity level or biorhythm of these unnamed prefects. Oh yeah- I also don't presume to know all the prefects or their levels of insanity. I am sure there are sane ones out there somewhere. Maybe? No? Mkay.)

Where exactly was I? Oh yes. Prefects. I will omit names so that these Prefects can keep face and maintain the respect of my fellow first years. But in all honesty, if you still fear several of them, RELAX. They tend to be great, normal, insane people once you get to know them. This does not mean attack them in order to become their new BFF...they are after all very busy and very important.

Let us take a look at some of the interesting things you learn while sitting with Prefects on a late night. For one, “there needs to be a goat in Robin Hood somewhere though.” Also- Robin Hood and chocolate fondue. And yes, obviously large amounts of "fangirling" go on late at night, which brings me to another card in the deck of insanity. If any Prefect mentions a show that they watch, IGNORE IT. This is a trap set by the Prefects so that they can steal your soul when you become addicted. (Two exceptions. Hana Kimi, and Robin Hood.)

Thankfully, at 2 am spelling is still going strong... for the most part! Caps lock, shift, and grammar though are not in high demand. Vocabulary is off the charts, leaving these Prefects with at least one of the stereotypes remaining true. That would be intelligence, for those that hadn't figured that one out!

All in all, the secret is out. Prefects are, the majority of the time, not the same people behind closed doors as they are while leading a group of newbies, which is for the best really. I mean, I think I would have been terrified if I had learned on my first night that the reason rainbows are many pretty colors is because rainbows come from waves of lights, like sea waves, only less choppy and without ships! Would you have been?

In closing, I would like to say, that Robin Hood would be better with chocolate chips and flying muffins being pelted at the Sheriff (EVIL EVIL MAN.... <33s Allan *cough*), HOL would not be the same without the insane yet lovable Prefects.

“I AM PERFECT D:” closes this lovely observation.